Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you the most horrible burrito I’ve ever been served! I’m including two versions of the photo as evidence that color correcting this cell phone snap yields little in the way of improving the horror.

This unbelievably terrible interpretation of a breakfast burrito was served to me in Marlborough, Massachusetts. My unfortunate encounter began with a specials board at the front door, informing me that today, in spite of my location on the map, I would be enjoying one of my favorite breakfast creations! I likely rubbed my hands together, announcing to my husband that I, for one, would be taking advantage of this marvelous opportunity.

Bad Burrito Breakdown: The photo speaks volumes, but just in case you’re curious about the details, this burrito was filled with scrambled eggs. Just Scrambled Eggs. Nothing else. No salsa. No refried or black beans. No tomatoes. No sauce of any kind. In fact, I would venture to say no seasonings at all of any kind. Which in New England I would at least expect a mis-informed oregano or perhaps some bell peppers. No sir. No ma’am. Now, I will acknowledge the generosity of adding a second duplicate “burrito” before liberally covering them in a flavorless liquid cheese and sprinkling with (drum roll please)….who knows what that is! I really have no idea what that light dusting of green could be. Maybe some ground sage? Sure why not. To repeat the flavor of the pile of sausage links perhaps? Yes. Let’s go with that. Give credit where credit is ever-so-slightly due.

Dear readers, I implore you: the next time you’re in a region or country where the food you see on the menu is commonly a terrible farce of a copy of a concept from a photo once seen in a brochure or post card….don’t order the breakfast burrito!

I hope we’ve all learned our lesson here. I still have emotional scars from this travesty, and I’ve been healing for years, partially upon re-location to Austin, Texas.  The therapy is intensive.